Lessons from history, don’t be so hard on yourself

Being a mum has never been easy but being a mum in 2017 is an absolute minefield. Ever since I gave birth to my daughter Ny in 2009 I have felt that there were a million and one expectations. From society, from other mums, from family, from complete strangers and from myself! In this ever more visible and connected world where we live our lives though photos and 140 character statements there has never been more pressure on mothers. Ever since I had my daughter I felt like I entered a world where everyone can judge you, because you’re a mother. Everyone has the right to put there 2 pence into how you feed, bathe, teach and discipline your children.

Now don’t get me wrong I’m not saying we have it harder than mums before us. I am well aware that washing machines, readymade baby food, epidurals and calpol weren’t available to mothers 100 years ago (God knows how they did it and praise to those women). But we have a different kind of pressure today.

Years ago there were maybe 10 housewifes on a street that you knew, you would help eachother out, talk to eachother and support eachother. There would be a large extended family nearby and as much as your mother in law was a pain in the proverbial she was probably nearby to help out. Your husband may not have done much around the house but he brought home the bacon and you worked together and understood eachothers roles. Today we don’t know our neighbours, our mother in law has emigrated to Spain and if we are lucky enough to still be in a functioning relationship we are expected to bring home half the bacon as well as being perfect house keepers and mothers.

I am not saying that the lives women lived years ago were easy or enjoyable but there are so many aspect of life that have been lost over the years which have changed the role of the mother in society. On any given day I feel I’m being pulled in a million different directions. Being a perfect mother, keeping the house in some kind of order, being an attentive girlfriend and focusing at work. Add that to trying to start my own business and it’s no wonder I feel as though my head might well explode at times.

We are constantly bombarded with photos on social media of happy families, perfectly dressed kids smiling sweetly and “so proud” posts about how amazing someone’s parents evening went. We are constantly comparing ourselves to others and criticizing our own lives because we are not as perfect as those we see on social media. This is a whole new kind of pressure on mothers to be everything. Perfectly.

So seriously mums of 2017, give yourself a break. Just remember that for every happy, smiling selfie there are just as many arguments and tantrums and fall outs. We are all human. Even mums! And we can only do our best. Not being perfect is totally normal.

Please leave a comment below, I’d love to hear what you think about being a mum in 2017!

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